愚人節英文笑話
1、無論你在哪裏，只要仰天長笑，大叫三聲“我是美女”，我就會出現在你面前。
No matter where you are， as long as the face upwards long laugh， shout three "I is beauty"， I will appear in front of you。
2、我願意一生守在你的身邊，冬天做你的棉被，夏天做你的電風扇。愚人節快樂！
Keep in your side， I am willing to life make your quilt in winter， summer do your electric fans。 Happy April fool's day！
3、起牀時想到你的微笑，洗臉時嗅到你的味道，上牀前你是我的需要，真的不能離開你-我親愛的馬桶！
Wake up thinking of you smile， when washing a face， smell the flavor of you， you are I need before go to bed， really can't leave you - my dear toilet！
4、報告：您此時的睡覺姿勢不正確。爲了您的身體健康，請您起來重睡……手機實時監測系統。愚人節快樂！
Report： at this time you sleeping posture is not correct。 For your health， please you up heavy sleep…… Mobile real-time monitoring system。 Happy April fool's day！
5、尋人啓示：肥頭大耳，目光呆滯；智商低下，無故走失；盯着手機，在看啓示；看了啓示，趕快消失！
Without a revelation： a deadly， glassy-eyed； IQ is low， cause lost； Staring at the phone， watching the revelation； See the revelation， quickly disappear！
6、無論你飛到哪裏，我就會跟到哪裏；無論你逃到哪裏，我就會追到哪裏。然後打死你――死蒼蠅。愚人節快樂！
No matter where you fly， where I will be with； No matter where you run， where I will catch up with。 Then kill you -- dead flies。 Happy April fool's day！
7、昨天，我夢見你了，真的！陽光是那麼明媚，你站在蔚藍的海邊，我拿小棍一捅你：嘿，這小王八，殼還挺硬！
Yesterday， I dreamed you， true of！ Sunshine is so beautiful， your station's seaside in deep blue， I take small stick one tong you， hey， this kinglet eight， the shell still pretty hard！
8、愚人節到，爲您支招：自己被愚，儘管歡喜；觀人被愚，笑而不語；若想更喜，把朋友愚。多愚多喜，快來參與。
April fool's day， for your action： he was a fool， although joy； Man is a fool， smiling without a word； For more joy， the friends fool。 How foolish pleased， fast to participate。
9、親愛的，我又開始想你了，我對你的愛每天都在巨增，因爲有人告訴我：豬肉漲價了，你能賣個好價錢！愚人節快樂！
Dear of， I started missing you again， my love to you everyday at huge increase， because someone tell me： pork markup， you can sell a good price！ Happy April fool's day！
10、昨晚我夢見你，還送你回家，我們走到一棟漂亮的建築物，你說到了，跑進去，我望着你的身影，還看見上面寫着精神病院！
Last night I dreamed you and take you home， we went to a beautiful buildings， to you say， run into， I looked at your figure， also saw the words a mental hospital！
11、你勤勞的像蜜蜂，漂亮的像蝴蝶，忠誠的像狗，乖的像貓，憨厚的像牛，威猛的像虎，怪不得人們都叫你。禽獸。
You are busy as bees， beautiful like a butterfly， loyal as a dog， lovely like a cat， simple and honest like cattle， formidable like a tiger， no wonder people call you。 The beast。
12、親愛的，每當我躺在你溫暖的懷抱裏的時候，我多麼希望時間能夠停止在這幸福的時刻，可我無法阻止時光的流逝，現在我不得不離開你，親愛的，被窩！
Dear， when I lie in your warm arms， how I wish time can stop at this happy moment， but I can't stop the passage of time， I have to leave you now， dear， bed！
13、小偷第二次來商店偷東西時被**抓住了。**問：“你難道不知道要被抓住嗎？”小偷說：“我知道上面寫着‘歡迎再來’。”
The thief stole a second time to shop when caught by the police。 The police asked： "don't you know to be caught？" The thief said： "I know it says" welcome to come again。 '"
14、天會下雨，人會老，上帝爺爺管不了。我會認真的對你好，把你當個寶。來！別爬樹了，讓人看到你的紅**多不好啊。哈哈，愚人節快樂！
It will rain， people become old， god grandpa do。 I will seriously to hello， you as a treasure。 Come on！ Don't climb a tree， let us see how bad your red ass。 Ha ha， happy April fool's day！
15、愁啊！又被一難題困住了。愁得我這幾天茶不思飯不想的。我說，你就給幫下忙吧。看看這是啥意思：“豬好是就讀來過倒。”
Sorrow！ Trapped by a problem again。 Sorrow to tea these days I don't think rice don't want to。 I said， you have to help busy。 Look at what this means： "pig good had been attended to。"
16、我是一棵孤獨的樹，千百年來矗立在路旁，寂寞的等待，只爲有一天當你從我身邊走過時，爲你傾倒，砸不扁你就算白活了。愚人節快樂！
I am a lonely tree， stood one thousand years on the road， lonely waiting， just for one day when you past me， is you dump， hit not flat you even miss life。 Happy April fool's day！
17、這兩天真的太冷了，你一定要照顧好自己啊，千萬別凍着啦——俗話說：人凍腿，豬凍嘴。我已經把毛褲穿上了，你也趕緊買個口罩吧。
The two innocent is too cold， you must take good care of yourself ah， don't frozen， as the saying goes： people frozen leg， the pig frozen mouth。 I have already put pants on， you also get to buy a mask。
18、尊敬的用戶：您的手機現有提款功能：只需將SIM卡取出插提款機即可：如提款機不受理業務：請用手機用力砸提款機！
Respect of customer： your phone existing drawing function： simply insert SIM card to take out the cash machine： such as cash machines do not accept business： please use mobile hard hit a cash machine！
19、有兩句話一直很想對你說，今天終於提起勇氣：第一句，我愛你，我好喜歡你；第二句，千萬不要把第一句當真哦！哈哈，記得開心呀！
Two words have been very want to say to you， today finally courage： the first sentence， I love you， I love you； The second sentence， don't take the first sentence seriously！ Ha ha， remember to happy！
20、神怕你餓於是創造了米，神怕你渴於是創造了水，神怕你寂寞於是創造了可愛的我，前提是神發現沒有盛飯的桶，於是創造了可愛的你。
Afraid you hungry so god created the meters， afraid you thirsty so god created the water， fear you lonely so god created the lovely of I， if god found no more rice bucket， and created the lovely you。
21、懂得休閒，找到輕鬆；懂得遺忘，找到自由；懂得關懷，找到朋友；懂得珍惜，找到幸福。懂得鍛鍊，找到健康；懂得享受，你找到了豬圈！
Know the leisure， find easily； Know forgotten and find freedom； Caring， find friends； Know how to cherish， find happiness。 Know the exercise， to find health； Know how to enjoy， you found a pigsty！
22、一隻蛐蛐跟豬打賭說：我跳進草裏你就看不見我，豬說：我要看得見呢？於是蛐蛐跳進草裏。豬在看，豬在看！豬還在看！豬咋還在看呢？
A cricket bet with pig say： you can't see me， I jumped into the grass pig say： I want to see？ So the cricket jumped into the grass。 Pigs are watching for pig！ Pig is still in look！ Pig zha still watching？
23、小時候，咱倆兩小無猜，我唱歌你伴舞，我能唱二百首歌，你就能跳二百支舞，所以人們親切地叫我二百歌，叫你二百舞！
When I was a child， a za a pair innocent playmates， I sing you dance， I can sing two hundred songs， you can jump two hundred dance， so affectionately call me two hundred songs， call you two hundred dance！
24、男友對女友說：我會永遠愛你的。女友疑惑的問男友：什麼是永遠？男友回答：“永遠就是死了還接着愛你。”哈哈，愚人節快樂。
Her boyfriend said to his girlfriend， I will always love you。 Girlfriend puzzled asked her boyfriend： what is forever？ Her boyfriend replied： "is dead and still love you forever。" Ha ha， happy April fool's day。
25、答應我，無論遇到什麼事都要心情平靜，無論去做什麼都要意志堅定，無論何時何地都要樂觀高興，無論遇到了誰都不要告訴他你是神經病！
Promise me， no matter meet what matter all want to calm， no matter what to do should be determined， no matter when and where to be optimistic， happy， no matter who met don't tell him that you are mental derangement！
26、天氣預報：今天白天有點兒想你，下午轉大至暴想，心情將由此降低五度，受此低情緒影響，預計此類天氣將持續到見到你爲止。
Weather forecast： today during the day a little miss you， turn to suddenly and violently think in the afternoon， the mood will lower five degrees， affected by the low mood， this kind of weather is expected to last until meet you。
27、俗話說人不可貌相，海水不可斗量，有些人雖然外表醜陋，卻擁有美好的心靈，雖然身材矮小，卻理想遠大。大家都誇獎說——你就是這樣的人！
As the saying goes， all that glitters is not gold， the water cannot be measured， although some people looks ugly, but a good heart, although small, but lofty。 Everybody praised said - you are such a person！
28、今天愚人節，你可要當心；朋友有壞心，整你當開心；有人發好心，別當做真心；時時要留心，刻刻要小心；送你一份關心，願你今天安心。祝愚人節順心！
Today is April fool's day, you can be careful； Friends have bad heart, whole when you happy； Someone kind, don't treat as true； Be careful always pay attention to moment； Send you a concern to you today。 I wish all fools' day！
29、告訴你一個好消息，你今年的桃花運會很旺哦！今天我在路邊遇見一隻狗狗，我蹲下問它你2014年的桃花運會不會很旺？它認真地考慮了一下說：旺！
Tell you a good news, you the desires of the heart of this year will be prosperous！ Today I meet a dog on the side of the road, I squatted down ask it of you 2014 desires of the heart will be very popular？ It seriously consider once said： it！
30、愛你一萬年，誇張；愛你五千年，無望；愛你一千年，荒唐；愛你一百年，太長；接連愛你70年，只要我身體健康，這是我的強項！愚人節快樂！
Love you ten thousand, exaggerated； Love you five thousand years, hopeless； Love you one thousand years, absurd； Love you one hundred years, is too long； Love you 70, successively in as long as my body health, this is my strengths！ Happy April fool's day！
