幽默英語名言
1、騙子太多，傻子明顯不夠用了。
Cheater too much, a fool obviously not enough.
2、哥吸煙，是因為它傷肺，不傷心。
Elder brother smoke, because it hurt lung, not sad.
3、我們的愛情在這天夭折了，只為了讓彼此有重生的機會。
Our love died on this day, in order to let each other have a rebirth of opportunities.
4、不能自拔的，除了愛情，還有別人地裏的蘿蔔。
Cannot extricate oneself, in addition to love, there are others in the fields of radish.
5、你要是鮮花，以後牛都不敢拉屎了。
If you flowers, cattle after all dare not move bowels.
6、每個意念都是一場祈禱。
Every thought is a prayer.
7、有些人死了很有價值，有些人死了他的畫很有價值！
Some people died is very valuable, some people died his painting is very valuable!
8、當褲子失去皮帶，才懂得什麼叫做依賴。
When the pants belt lost, just know what is called a dependency.
9、抽，是一種生活藝術；找抽，是一種生活態度。
Smoking, it is a kind of living art; Looking for smoke, is a kind of attitude to life.
10、最可笑的愛情就是你愛她，還和我在一起。
The most ridiculous love that you love her, but also with me.
11、對女人不好的男人，下輩子都投胎做衞生巾去！
Bad man, to a woman next life reborn do sanitary napkin!
12、平時罵你就算了，非要等我打你，才知道我文武雙全。
Scold you calculate at ordinary times, have to wait for me beat you, didn't know I both brawn.
13、不是你想不想，而是你敢不敢。
Dare not do you want to, but you.
14、我以為我很頹廢，今天我才知道，原來我早報廢了。
I thought I was decadent, today I just know, originally I had scrapped.
15、成功在暗處看着我們，因為我們為成功而奮鬥。
Success in the dark looking at us, because we struggle for success.
16、我建議大家對我的長相，理解為主，欣賞為輔。
I recommend to my looks, understanding, appreciation is complementary.
17、貓兒，你別太猖狂，有一天，魚兒可能會把你摁到水裏！
Cat, you don't be too stubborn, one day, the fish may put you press into the water!
18、我的優點是我很帥；但是我的缺點是我帥的不明顯。
My advantage is that I am handsome; But my disadvantage is that I'm handsome is not obvious.
19、要不是老師説不能亂扔垃圾，不然偶早把你扔出去。
If it weren't for the teacher said can't litter, otherwise I early throw you out.
20、理髮師永遠聽不懂剪短一點點的概念。
The barber never couldn't understand the concept of cut short a little bit.
21、雖然我在認真的忽悠你，但是你要假裝相信我。
Although I was in serious fool you, but you have to pretend to believe me.
22、別人一誇我，我就擔心，擔心別人誇得不夠。
Others praised me, I worry, worry about other people kua enough.
23、這個世界本來就是痛苦的，沒有例外的。
The world is painful, no exceptions.
24、都説姐漂亮，其實都是粧出來的。
All say sister beautiful, in fact is a makeup.
25、世界總是一樣的，只是我們的心情和遭遇不一樣而已。
The world is always the same, it is our mood and experience a different.
26、歎氣是最浪費時間的事情，哭泣是最浪費力氣的行徑。
Sigh is one of the most waste of time things, crying is the most waste energy.
27、不是人人都能活的低調，可以低調的基礎是隨時都能高調。
Not everyone can live low-key, can at any time can be a low profile is the basis of high profile.
28、上流社會的人，總喜歡做點下流的事。
Upper-class people, always like to do something nasty.
29、別跟我談感情，談感情傷錢。
Don't talk to me about feelings, talk about feelings hurt money.
30、女人吻男人是一種幸福，男人吻女人是一種口福。
Is a kind of happiness women kiss men, men kiss women is a kind of luck to eat STH delicious.
31、別人裝處，我只好裝經驗豐富。
Others place, I'll just experience.
32、我的眼裏只有你，不過心裏有別人！
I only have eyes for you, but in the mind have others!
33、睡着睡着，就睡出了理想和口水。
Sleep sleep and sleep out of the ideal and saliva.
34、男人的大腦喜歡女人的內心，但是眼睛喜歡女人的外表。
A man's brain like a woman's heart, but eyes like a woman's appearance.
35、愛情永遠比婚姻聖潔，婚姻永遠比愛情實惠。
Love always holier than marriage, marriage than love forever.
36、從天堂到地獄，哥只是路過人間。
From heaven to hell, elder brother just passing by.
37、在我生病發燒的時候，他來看過我，後來我們成為了發燒友。
When I was ill have a fever, he came to see me, then we became the enthusiasts.
38、掛個蚊帳在裏面裸睡，挑逗蚊子，把它急死。
Hang a mosquito net in it naked sleep, tease mosquitoes, used in it.
39、要不是打不過你，早就跟你翻臉了。
If it weren't for dozen however you, told you turned against.
40、別人都在假裝正經，我只好假裝不正經。
Others were pretending to be serious, I had to pretend not serious.
41、大便的離去，是馬桶的追求，還是**的不挽留。
The departure of the stool, it is the pursuit of the toilet, or butt does not retain.
42、每個成功的男人背後，都會有一個吃飽了沒事做的女人。
Behind every successful man, there will be a full woman have no matter to do.
43、不求門當户對，只求感覺到位。
Not suitable, but feel in position.
44、絕口不提不是因為忘記，而是因為銘記。
About not forget because it is over, but because remembered.
45、我可以選擇放棄，但不能放棄選擇。
I can choose to give up, but I can't give up choice.
46、女人喜歡長得壞壞的男人，不是喜歡長壞了的男人。
Women like men who grow worse, not like the long bad man.
47、別人都以為在我低頭沉思，其事我看着地上這一毛該不該撿。
Everyone thought I looked down on, the thing I look at this hair should pick up on the ground.
48、不要在你的智慧中夾雜着傲慢。不要使你的謙虛心缺乏智慧。
Don't in your wisdom with pride. Don't make your modesty of lack of wisdom.
49、這個世界就這麼不完美，你想得到些什麼，就不得不失去些什麼。
The world is not so perfect, what you want, have to lose something.
50、作為失敗的典型，你實在是太成功了。
As a typical form of failure, you are so successful.
51、路見不平一聲吼，吼完繼續往前走。
The road sees rough a roar, roar and walked on.
52、不寬恕眾生，不原諒眾生，是苦了你自己。
Do not forgive not forgive to be enlightened, is suffer yourself.
53、爺不是你的小浣熊，玩不出你的其樂無窮。
Ye are not your little raccoon, playing out of your fun.
54、有緣千里來相會，無緣牽女來相親。
As if by predestination, no woman to date.
55、一棵樹長到它想長的高度後，它才知道怎樣的空氣適合它。
A tree grows to think of it after long high, it know what air for it.
56、説出來的苦是軟弱，埋藏在心裏的苦叫堅強。
Speak of bitter is weak, buried in the heart of bitter is strong.
57、狂妄的人有救，自卑的人沒有救。
Prideful people, not the self-contempt.
58、最好的，不一定是最合適的；最合適的，才是真正最好的。
The best, not necessarily the most appropriate; The most appropriate, is really the best.
59、如果夢想沒但是，但是生活沒如果。
If dream but not, but I don't have if life.
60、一個人，一條街，一個角落，一場無聲的哭泣。
A person, a street, a corner, a silent cry.
61、其實我很宅，只是宅在誰家裏的問題。
Actually I'm home, it's just a matter of who curtilage in the home.
62、那些你狠冒險的夢，我陪你去瘋。
Those dreams you malicious adventure, I accompany you to mad.
63、聽你講的笑話，我一共哭了兩次！
Listen to your jokes, I cried twice!
64、你把別人想得太複雜，是因為你也不簡單。
You to think of others too complicated, because you will not be easy.
65、讓未來到來，讓過去過去。
Let the future arrival, let the past pass.
66、英雄難過美人關，我不是英雄，美人讓我過了關。
Hero sad beauty pass, I am not a hero, a beauty let me close.
67、如果下雪不打傘，是不是我們就可以一路走到白頭。
If it snows not dozen umbrella, whether we can go all the way to the hoary head.
68、人生有時就像電腦，説死機就死機，沒得商量。
Sometimes life is like a computer, said crash will crash, not negotiable.
69、識就像內褲，看不見但很重要。
Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but very important.
70、知識就像內褲，看不見但很重要。
Knowledge is like underpants, see but very important.
71、你最快樂的時候，有人正受着病魔的折磨，和死亡搏鬥，掙扎。
You the most happy time, someone is tortured by the illness, and death struggle, struggle.
72、不要説別人腦子有病，腦子有病的前提是必須有個腦子。
Don't say your mind, your mind is the premise of must have a brain.
73、告訴你們一個鬼故事，馬上就要開學了，無奈痛苦的作業快湧過來了。
Tell you a ghost story, will soon be back in school and helpless painful job coming soon.
74、探索的旅程不在於發現新大陸，而在於培養新視角。
Exploration journey lies not in discovering the new continent, which is to cultivate new perspective.
75、人生是一頓飯，你只是一盤菜而已。
Life is a meal, you are just a dish.
76、勇於接受別人的批評，正好可以調整自己的缺點。
Have the courage to accept the criticism of others, just can adjust their own shortcomings.
77、還沒來得及去沾花惹草，就被人拔光了。
Could go philandering, is being pulled out.
78、不能罵上帝，不讓上帝會帶你去見他。
Can't scold god, don't let god will take you to see him.
79、白天我生活在自己的夢裏，晚上我在別人的夢裏！
I live in my own dream during the day, night I am in the dream of someone else!
80、老闆用你的時候你就是人才，不用你的時候就變成裁人！
The boss with you when you are the talent, don't you become firing people!
81、結婚就是給自由穿件棉衣，活動起來不方便，但會很温暖。
Marry is free to wear a cotton-padded jacket, activity up is not convenient, but it will be very warm.
82、隨緣不是得過且過，因循苟且，而是盡人事聽天命。
Fate is not muddle along, the same you, but to do what one can listen to destiny.
83、懶惰就像生鏽一樣，比操勞更消耗身體。
Sloth, like rust, consumes more than work.
84、遇見喜歡的，就得主動犯個賤。
Meet the love, have to take the initiative to make a base.
85、誠心做事容易辦好事；成天想事，鬱郁不得志。
Sincerely work easy to do good; Think about all day, and frustrated.
86、人家怕你，並不是一種福，人家欺你，並不是一種辱。
The somebody else be afraid of you, is not a blessing, the somebody else cheat you, is not an insult.
87、生活總要繼續，睡覺也是！
Life is always continue, sleep too!
