qq英語搞笑個性簽名
1、明騷易躲，暗賤難防。
Ming Sao is easy to hide, dark base to prevent.
2、光陰似面，日月如鍋。
Time is like a pot.
3、本人已死，有事燒紙。
I am dead, something burning.
4、距離產生的不是美，是**。
Distance is not the United States, is small three.
5、拍死的是蚊子，流血的是老子！
It's a mosquito that's dead. It's the father!
6、傻B中的戰鬥機，賤人中的VIP。
Silly B fighter, Bitch in VIP.
7、我們走得太快，靈魂都跟不上了。
We go too fast, the soul can't keep up.
8、真希望是2月29開學，四年開一次！
I really hope that the 29 school in February, four years to open!
9、活魚會逆流而上，死魚則隨波逐流。
The fish will swim upstream, dead fish.
10、曾經的海枯石爛，抵不過好聚好散。
Once the end of the world, is still good.
11、裝要裝的有內涵，騷要騷的有味道。
Installed to have the connotation of the show to show the taste of the show.
12、文能看書擠地鐵，武能擠地鐵看書。
Text can read the subway, Wu can squeeze the subway reading.
13、人是鐵，飯是鋼，骨頭裏面沒有湯。
Man is iron, rice is steel, there is no soup in the bones.
14、說好一起到白頭，你卻偷偷焗了油。
Agreed to go to white, you secretly baked oil.
15、天涯何處無牛糞，何必單戀一坨屎。
Where there is no cow dung, why love a shit.
16、有時候，你不知道自己的話有多傷人。
Sometimes, you don't know how much you hurt yourself.
17、自從得了神經病，整個人都精神多了。
Since I got a mental illness, the whole people are more spiritual.
18、我恨秦始皇，他燒書，居然沒有燒完。
I hate Qin Shihuang, he burned the book, actually did not burn.
19、開心了就笑，不開心了就過會兒再笑。
Happy to laugh, not happy to laugh at a later time.
20、爛人一定是賤人，賤人不一定是爛人。
Bad people must be Bitch, Bitch is not necessarily bad people.
21、我未來的兒子，快告訴我你爹的方向。
My future son, tell me about your father.
22、我不是骨頭，不能讓每條狗都追着跑。
I'm not a bone, can't let every dog run after.
23、智力測驗就是要看倒底笨到了什麼程度。
Intelligence test is to see the bottom stupid to what extent.
24、微信就是牛逼，硬是把手機搞成對講機。
The micro channel is regressed, forced the mobile phone into the intercom.
25、老衲曾經回眸一笑，迷得師太神魂顛倒。
I have lost all entranced with a smile.
26、現實的社會，毀了我一個做好人的機會。
The reality of the society, ruined me a good opportunity to do.
27、失掉你我已不會做人，如何還留力愛人。
I will not be a man without you, how can I leave a lover.
28、別老說自己沒事兒，沒事兒不是事兒啊。
Don't say that you have nothing to say.
29、人總要犯錯誤的，否則正確之路人滿爲患。
People always make mistakes, otherwise the correct way to overcrowding.
30、告別手淫，尋找愛情。鍛鍊JJ，天天享受。
Farewell to masturbation, looking for love. Exercise JJ, enjoy every day.
31、您別看我長得像沒頭腦，其實我是不高興。
You don't look like I'm not mind, but I'm not happy.
32、我真的狠單純，一天到晚都想着怎麼害人。
I really very simple, all day thinking about how to harm.
33、現在物價上漲的世界，某些人卻越來越賤。
Now the world, some people are getting more and more cheap.
34、世上最痛苦的三角戀：我愛食物，脂肪愛我。
The most painful love in the world: I love food, love me.
35、恐慌自己失去所有人，留下一個人孤獨老死。
All the people lost their panic, left alone.
36、我用生命去寫文章，後人卻用它來佈置作業。
I use my life to write the article, but I use it to decorate the job.
37、你的臉讓我想到了一個詞語，它叫隨心所欲。
Your face makes me think of a word, it's a way to do it.
38、黑絲氾濫的季節，讓我們這些粗腿情何以堪？
Black silk flooding of the season, so that we have these thick legs, why?
39、所謂放假，家裏遭嫌，出門沒錢，每天特閒。
The so-called holiday, the home is suspected, go out no money, special day.
40、粉紅燈光，卿卿我我，拉拉扯扯，見不得人。
Light pink, Qingqingwowo, lalacheche, shady.
41、不要在青蔥的歲月裏一味地裝蒜，那樣不好。
Don't come in the green years, it is not good.
42、嚴重抗意鳳凰衛視在播放廣告時插播電視劇！
Serious against Italy Phoenix TV broadcast advertising spots in television series!
43、大叔，笑的時候記得捂嘴巴哦，小心您的假牙。
Uncle, laugh when I remember Wu mouth Oh, be careful of your teeth.
44、你有什麼不開心的事？說出來讓大家開心一下。
Do you have any unhappy things? Say it to let everyone happy.
45、你一輩子也別給我承諾，我怕我怕你被雷劈死。
You don't give me a lifetime commitment, I'm afraid I'm afraid you are a ray of death.
46、嫦娥，你就從了天蓬吧，你看玉帝都老成啥樣了！
The goddess of the moon, you from the canopy, you see what the emperor are old!
47、人，生在牀上，死在牀上，欲生欲死，也在牀上。
Man, who was born on the bed, died on the bed, for the desire to die, also on the bed.
48、假設命運運限折斷了你的腿，他會教你如何跛行。
If fate broke your leg, he will teach you how to limp.
49、賤也是一種藝術，讓我們一起將這門藝術搞好吧！
Base is also an art, let us together this art to do a good job!
50、沒有嫁不到男人的女人，只有娶不到女人的男人。
A woman without a man's woman, but a man who can't marry a woman.
51、猛的一看你不怎麼樣，仔細一看還不如猛的一看。
A fierce look at you not how, a closer look at it is not as fierce as a look.
52、就算老師講的是個毛線球，學霸也能把它織成毛衣！
Even if the teacher said is a Mao Xianqiu, learning tyrants also can weave it into a sweater!
53、所謂敵人，不過是那些迫使我們自己變得強大的人。
The so-called enemy, however, is the one that forces us to become stronger.
54、時間對了，地點對了，感情對了，卻發現人物不對。
Time is right, the place is right, the feeling is right, but it is not right.
55、你跟誰整那表情呢，我欠你貸款要到期了還是咋的。
Who are you to be with, I owe you a loan or a good one.
56、工資就像大姨媽，不來的時候擔心，來的時候操心。
Wages are like big aunt, not to worry about, to the time to worry about.
57、作爲一個怪獸，我的願望是至少消滅掉一個奧特曼！
As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman!
58、牛肉麪裏沒牛肉不要抱怨，老婆餅裏不也沒有老婆麼？
Beef noodles, beef noodles, do not complain, the wife of the cake, there is no wife?
59、我牀上的不知道是誰媳婦，我媳婦不知道在誰的牀上！
I do not know who is on the bed, my wife does not know who the bed!
60、嘆氣是最浪費時間的事情，哭泣是最浪費力氣的行徑。
Sigh is a waste of time, crying is a waste of effort acts.
61、怎麼能說你腦子進水了呢？前提是，你也要有腦子啊。
How can you say that you are in the water? The premise is, you have to have a mind.
62、不要說別人腦子有病，腦子有病的前提是必須有個腦子。
Do not say that other people's brains are sick, the brain has a disease must have a mind.
63、人生總有許多巧合，兩條平行線也可能會有交匯的一天。
Life always has a lot of coincidence, the two parallel lines may also have a meeting of the day.
64、幸福就是每天早晨醒來一看錶，竟然還能再睡半個小時。
Happiness is to wake up every morning to see the table, even can sleep half an hour.
65、今天第一次決定爲了減肥節食，就被一根雞腿給打破了。
The first time today decided to go on a diet to lose weight, it was a broken leg.
66、生活就像拉屎，有時候你很努力，出來的也不過是個屁。
Life is like a piece of shit, sometimes you are very hard, but also it is a fart.
67、有錢的人怕別人知道他有錢，沒錢的人怕別人知道他沒錢。
Rich people are afraid of others know that he is rich, no money, people afraid of others know that he did not have the money.
68、過去一直喜歡她的胸懷寬廣，其實那也無非是一片飛機場！
In the past always like her mind is broad, in fact, it is nothing more than an airport!
69、你解釋就是掩飾，掩飾的就是事實，事實就是罪惡的開始。
Your explanation is the fact that the truth is the beginning of sin.
70、跟你很熟嗎？沒事彈個視頻，你當是你家電視啊，一按就出人。
Do you know well? It's OK to play a video, you're your home TV, one by one.
71、留不住的東西就用力把它往遠得扔，沒準撞到什麼就彈回來了。
Can't keep the things that you can't keep, and you can't just throw it away.
72、你這貨，太讓我費心了，有娘養沒娘教育的，就教你怎麼捅咕人了。
Your goods, so I have no trouble, son of a bitch mother education, teach you how to touch people.
73、前男友發信息讓我去參加他的婚禮，我淡定的回了三個字：下次去。
The former boyfriend sends information to let me go to his wedding, I calm the back three words: next time.
74、我以前很瘦未來也很瘦所以我現在要胖一段時間，不然人生不圓滿。
I used to be thin and the future is very thin so I'm going to put on some weight now, or I'm not going to be successful.
75、校長，這空調，你若安好，便是晴天；若安不好，晚上出門注意點！
Principal, this air conditioning, if you are well, it is sunny; if you are not good, go out at night to pay attention!
76、我買了一個一英寸的顯示器，這樣可以使我的錯誤看起來要小一些！
I bought an inch of monitor, which would make my mistakes look smaller!
77、非誠勿擾女嘉賓再牛也就滅一個男的的燈，宿舍樓下阿姨能滅一整樓的。
If you are the one female guests and then cattle will be a man of the lamp, the dormitory downstairs aunt can destroy a whole building.
78、什麼叫多餘？夏天的棉襖，冬天的蒲扇，還有等我已經心冷後你的殷勤。
What is redundant? Summer cotton padded jacket, winter stalk, and hospitality I have your heart cold.
79、現如今有錢的不如有權的，有權的不如有槍的，有槍的不如拿斧頭鐮刀的！
It is better to have the right to have the money than to have the gun, and the less the axe!
80、某女在博客日記寫：某月某日，大醉而歸，伸手一摸，手機和貞操都在，睡覺！
A woman in the blog wrote: one day a month, Dazui, touched, mobile phone and chastity in bed!
81、未成年做成年的事，訂婚時做分手的事，剛戀愛做結婚的事，結婚時做再婚的事。
Adult things, engaged in the matter of breaking up, just in love to do the marriage, marriage, do the thing to do.
